“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” – Roy T. Bennett
Breakups are never easy. They introduce a time of self-doubt, and of feeling inadequacy and anger. Whatever your break-up experience has been – know that it is completely normal! Every person will feel differently and heal differently.
To begin or continue your healing journey, here are 10 ways you can practice self-care after going through a break-up.
1. Go To Therapy
Looking after your mental health is always important, but it becomes crucial during periods in your life which are full of change. Breakups cause huge change in your life, from daily and weekly routines, social circles if you have many mutual friends, and home life if you were living together. Processing this change with the guidance of someone trained to help you is the biggest and most responsible act of self-care that you can practice post break-up.
Breakup therapy can help you:
- Rediscover yourself
- Process the grief and pain from breaking up
- Figure out your blind spots to work on for future relationships
- Work through fears surrounding trust and intimacy
- Manage anxiety and depression resulting from the breakup
2. Write About It
If you picture your thoughts as a ball of wool, a breakup is like a cat playing with and tangling it completely. To try bringing some more order to your brain, and to start working through what you’re feeling, get writing!
You can simply write whatever thoughts pop into your head or find breakup specific journal prompts to work through. You can write about:
- What will you not miss about being in a relationship?
- What parts of yourself did you compromise on in order to be with your ex?
- What have you learned to prioritize in a relationship?
- What are you excited to explore now that you’re single?
Whatever you decide to write about, writing can help you categorize your feelings and understand why you feel the way you do.
3. Prioritize Routine
Any relationship will fill your time; whether you see them every day at home, have dates once a week, or message them throughout the day due to long distance. After breaking up, it’s important to not leave that time completely empty.
Stick to whatever routine you had during your relationship, and then fill the extra time with hobbies or friends. This doesn’t mean you should run from your feelings, but it is good to avoid opportunities for deep waves of sadness to hit!
In the first few months post breakup, it can feel like you have an overwhelming amount of extra time in a week. Fill that time with friends and family who make you laugh and challenge you to explore your interests and passions.
If you found yourself growing distant with certain friends while in your relationship, now is the time to reach out to them and reconnect. It is important to fill your time with people who care about you and remind you of your value.
5. …And Disconnect
On the other hand, now is a great time to disconnect. Log off all social media for a weekend or take yourself on a date. Remove yourself from any distractions and focus on yourself – how are you really doing?
Relationships have a way of shifting our goals and personalities to match those of our partner – so you need to redefine your identity and your dreams! Loving yourself after a breakup includes the ‘getting-to-know’ phase at the beginning of any relationship. By disconnecting from others and spending time alone, you open yourself up to yourself, and give yourself the chance to fall in love with who you are.
Are you finding yourself trapped in negative thought spirals about your ex? Count backwards from 200 in 7s or whip out a Sudoku puzzle. Crunching numbers forces your brain to shift from its emotional center to its logic center.
Developing coping mechanisms to work through intense emotions is a crucial part of self-care, and this simple tip can help you overcome waves of sadness, anger, regret, or jealousy.
7. Find Perspective
After a break-up it’s easy to forget that the relationship had rough patches, but remembering the hard times is a huge part of healing. It will help you retain perspective while working through your emotions.
Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of idolizing your ex – yes, they may have been good for you at a stage, but everyone has flaws! Be kind to yourself by remembering more than the highlight-reel of your relationship.
8. Let Yourself Feel
There is no ‘right’ way to grieve the end of a relationship. Some swear that ‘out of sight, out of mind’ applies to breakups; so, they delete the photos, throw out their things, unfriend and unfollow on every social media account, and block their number. While this can bring the necessary closure, don’t feel that you have to follow these steps in order to move on.
You need to decide what way of moving on is going to work for you, and then trust your gut and stick to it!
9. Treat Yourself
Sometimes, you need to take ‘self-care’ literally. Set aside time to pamper yourself in whichever way makes you feel your best! Get your hair and nails done, spend some time in a bubble bath, or put cucumber slices over your eyes while listening to a podcast.
Learning to make yourself feel special is a really important part of healing after a breakup. Find small things you can add to your routine that make you feel like your best self and make it a priority to stick to them.
Staying patient is one of the hardest parts of emotional healing, but it is guaranteed to work. You won’t always hurt the way you do now, and you will live a happy and fulfilling life even without your ex.
Give yourself time to grieve the ending of this life chapter and don’t force or rush your way through the healing you need to do! Being patient with your healing is the ultimate form of self-care.
Get Through Your Breakup With P.S. Love Yourself
No matter what stage of the healing process you’re in – P.S. Love Yourself is here to help you! Rediscover who you are and all the reasons to love yourself with our unique four-step formula, designed with you in mind to get you through your break-up. Contact us today at 954-806-5569 to begin your journey to self-love.