Loving yourself after a breakup or divorce can be an easy thing to say but a harder thing to do. So, what does self-love actually mean at the end of a relationship?
People say that time heals all wounds. No matter the truth of the statement, simply waiting out all of the heartbreak is not going to help you along. Now is the time to make time work for you: take time to spend by yourself, take time to recognize and acknowledge the emotions you’re feeling, and take time to set-up your path going forward.
Being alone after a breakup can be scary. It might be a feeling you’re not used to anymore, and it’s okay to feel nervous about the impact big changes like that can have on your life. Nevertheless, taking some time to be alone can help you reconnect with everything that makes you, you. The turbulent emotions you’re going through aren’t always pleasant, but they shouldn’t be ignored. Use them to redefine your goals for the future, and work on acknowledging the things you can do to help yourself as you move forward.
Reconnecting With Yourself And Your Loved Ones
After a relationship, you may have some trouble identifying the real you: your wants, needs, and personality. Working hard to please others can make it difficult for you to have a whole sense of self. This is the time to look inwards. Who are you? What values do you stand by? You don’t need a partner to help you cement this, you can discover and establish these for yourself.
Being alone doesn’t mean total isolation. The right friends and family members can prove to be a solid support system in this time, helping you back to your feet when you need it most. The vital key here is surrounding yourself with the right people. Seeing your old partner soon after your breakup can add stress and other negative emotions that make healing difficult, so try your best to give yourself that much needed distance.
You, Not Them
It’s also important to realize that you’re allowed to put yourself first for a change. Take some time to realize what you deserve out of a loving relationship, and work to push the thoughts of your ex out of your mind. The point of this time is to work through your emotions, not to hold on to them for as long as you can.
When relationships go south, blame gets thrown and anger tends to plant itself in our hearts and minds. Long after a breakup or divorce, you might still be thinking about how the other person wronged you and what they deserve to go through for it. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what they deserve. Moving forward, the important thing to focus on is what you deserve.